Bald headed mother undergoing breast cancer treatment

Meeting and observing cancer patients expose people to a wide range of emotions and situations. One of the most emotional, heart-wrenching and difficult cases I have come across is a young mother Nuala who was undergoing chemotherapy after surgery for breast cancer. I met her just a few times in the course of her treatment.

                                               
The most poignant moment was one afternoon after her husband and young 4 year daughter Maeve had visited. Nuala was clearly feeling anxious and unsure at how her treatment was going. She was lying quietly in her bed gazing out the window with a dreamy but sad look in her eyes. I was very taken by the way the teddy bear was lying on her breast and tucked under the bed covers just like a parent would tuck in a child before going to sleep. I later discovered that her little daughter Maeve has given her the teddy bear to keep her company while she was at school. Maeve had just started 'big school' a few weeks previously and was all excited by the new adventure. Because of her new time-table of getting up early in the mornings to get ready for school Maeve could not visit her mum until the afternoon when school was over.

It is strange how I thought the teddy bear seemd to have a puzzled expression as somehow this was not where it was supposed to be.

With her bald head Nuala looked like her treatment was tough going and looked tired and lacking in energy. I have no doubt that her little daughter Maeve was foremost in her mind and must have been  tortured by thoughts of what the future held. I have given the head a blotchy redness to convey the trauma that the body goes through with the cocklail of drugs used in chemotherapy and also the emotional high and lows that go with the treatment, particularly in the case of a parent of young children. I have painted Nuala's right eye as slightly less open and has a sad, distant look while the left eye is more open and alert. The purpose of this is again to convey the roller-coaster of emotions that she feels and also the tough regime of treatment she is undergoing to treat her breast cancer.

Capturing the feelings and emotions of cancer patients is a very delicate and sesitive area. In painting a patient I feel that I am intruding in their lives and exposing them in their most vulnerable moments. Sickness and illness brings people into contact with life in its rawest and cruellest state.  When I started this series of paintings I was not sure what I would portray but as I worked on each painting the subject began to reveal itself. I know that in the end I will not have a series of pretty pictures but I knew that before I began and the purpose was to capture some of the situations and emotions that are revealed by cancer.

There is a sadness and difficult situation revealed in this painting. Nuala left the hospital 2 weeks after I observed her with the teddy bear and I can't say what happened next as I have not seen her since but hopefully she is healthy and happy with her husband and charming little daughter.

I have not completely finished this painiting as yet as I want to work on the composition and positioning.               

Blue Male Nude for Testicular Cancer

I'm sure that it is a common experience for people that when you have somebody close to you who has been diagnosed with a particular illness you come across a number of other cases of the same illness within a short space of time. In the cancer series of paintings that I am doing I have been amazed by how many times this has happened and it applies equally to men and women.

My most recent painting is on the theme of testicular cancer which is one that obviously applies only to men but is particularly prevalent among young men. Fortunately I have only come across a few cases of this type of cancer among men that I know in the last few years and my experience has been that each case has been an active, healthy, young man. I have limited knowledge and experience of the different forms of cancer but this is one that really tends to be deadly and fast acting. Not wishing to be alarmist it is a form of cancer that really requires immediate attention and action. There is no time for being embarrassed or shy in bringing attention to this as soon as a young man becomes aware of a problem.

In this painting I have depicted a healthy young man who seems to be shy in terms of exposing his body to the public gaze and I have deliberately put his facing away from the viewer to convey the sense of finding it difficult to comes to terms with cancer of the testes. His hand is strategically placed to cover his 'manhood', to give the viewer the sense that he finds it difficult to engage with this illness. It is hard for him to face up to an illness that attacks his manhood.  I have given him a well toned body and fine physique to show a young man at his prime in life and at his peak of physical attractiiveness.  His head is tilted slightly downwards and he has a frown on his face to show his anxiety and how difficult it is to cope with this cancer. There are dark shadows around the eyes and mouth to show how challenging it is for a young man to look at and talk about his changed physique due to surgery.
 Would a painting showing him with only one or no testicles reduce his attractiveness and how would it affect his confidence as a man? Would it be an invasion of privacy to depict a young man in such a way?

As an artist I feel that it is a very sensitive subject and I don't want to be voyeuristic by invading such personal and intimate space. As an Irishman I feel that there are boundaries that I must observe and respect, and in spite of the modern times I feel a certain inhibition - because of my middle-age and the generation that I come from - in painting the male genitalia, penis and testicles.

Once again in painting a male nude I have opted for a blue picture because it is the colour so strongly associated with maleness and blue is used a good deal for painting nudes in art (Picasso). Blue is a great colour to use because it has a great variety of shades and can be both soft and hard, gentle and/or harsh. Blue is also a very moody colour associated with different emotions, calmness and tranquility or depression and sadness. The different shades of blue mean that you can have great variety in a painting and can show strength and depth through the use of  the range of shades and brush strokes.
 
Perhaps even to a greater extent than mentioned in my painting about prostate cancer, dealing with this part of a man's body goes to the heart of maleness and virility. Testicles and penis are the defining male organs and when cancer strikes in these organs it goes to the core of manhood. As mentioned already, the treatment can present great challenges as removal of one or both testicles is the first part of the treatment. The people I know who have publicly acknowledged that they had testicular cancer have shown great courage and have done a great deal of good in removing the fear and stigma of being diagnosed with this form of cancer.

It is hugely important for all men and particularly young men to take care of their sexual organs and to be aware as to how you detect testicular cancer at the earliest possible stage.
Thankfully nowadays there is far less inhibition in talking about bodies and sex so that hopefully young men will feel less inhibited or embarrassed to talk to people who can support and help them deal with illnesses or problems with their sexual organs.       

Intriguing view of Breast cancer cell

It is by nature rather than design that this breast cancer cell has vivid pinks in it. It is amazing that this is the colour so associated with femininity. Almost everything that is associated with the female form has a predominantly pink colour. 
My wife loves pink, she says that is lifts her heart no matter what the object is - a cup, scarf, dress, flower, sheet of paper and lots more besides. 
From birth onwards pink is associated with little girls and as they grow their tastes develop for other colours but still the world envelops them in pink.

Strange though it may sound I found this painting really pleasant and easy to do. The pink colour just flowed freely and the shapes seem to take on a life of their own. This is bizarrely ironic as this would seem to describe the growth of breast cancer also. It takes on a life of its own and is constantly sending out tendrils to attach to new tissue and establish itself in new areas. 
I am intrigued by the attractiveness of this canecr cell. It looks like a beautiful full-headed flower in a garden that is full of life and energy in early summer. I like the boldness and wildness of the rich pink core with tendrils of white and red interlaced around the central growth.
Many images and associations go through my mind when I look at this painting. It looks like a big pink sun radiating energy and growth. It also looks like a multi-legged octopus reaching out and trying to latch on to new tissue where it can spawn new cells and grow larger, longer, bigger, further. 

I think also that it captures well the lump of growth that women are constantly reminded to check for and get scanned if they feel anything out of the ordinary. There is a certain solidity and lumpiness to the shape and yet it also has a certain jelly-fish quality that it will distend and distort as it is sqeezed or pressed. All the tendrils seem to convey the menacing nature of cancer, where it is constantly seeking new areas of growth and will attack healthy tissue to support its cancerous growth. 

The painting is small (40cm X 40cm, 16 inches X 16 inches) but it still captures well the menacing nature of breast cancer. It is an oil on canvas painting and I find that oil colours are super for capturing energy, growth, movement and light. This is just one cell portrayed in all its energy and growth, ready to reach out and grow further, feeding off the healthy tissue around it. 

A beautiful but dangerous devil.         

Male Nude for prostate cancer

I am making progress on a series of pictures on cancer and as I focus on the different types it brings all parts of the body into view. The purpose of this series is to bring greater attention to cancer and promote greater knowledge, awareness, discussion and communication on it. I mean more meaningful and deeper reflection and communication on how cancer affects the sufferers at many different levels and in so many different ways, especially in their inner selves and their intimate relationships.
                                                                                                                                                         Prostate cancer cuts to the core of manhood and attacks men in a way that brings a bigger threat than just the illness itself. The prostate is central to virility and sexual activity. As men can we deal with this threat so that we can acknowledge that we are ill and not feel undermined that our sexual prowess and our ability to be real men is called into question?
                                                          
I've painted a picture of a male nude torso. The figure is turning towards the light to indicate the need for greater openness and discussion on this core male illness. It is also painted in shades of blue which is so often associated with nudity and also is the traditional male colour. The penis is partially visible to make sure that there is a focus on maleness, nudity.identity, illness and communication.

In Ireland there is still a great reluctance among men to discuss anything of a personal, intimate nature. I must admit I am a typical Irish male in this case. In spite of writing this blog I don't think that I would easily engage in discussions on intimate parts of my life. So painting gives me an opportuunity to express views and open up lines of discussion in a non-threatening way as  I choose to put this topic up for discussion and to put my paintings up for viewing as part of it. I have no idea where this will go and if it will trigger any ripple effect or not but I'm happy that I'm in a new field of artwork and that I am spending time thinking and reflecting on what I am doing.

The actual artwork and painting is totally absorbing, satisfying and even therapeutic as I go into another world when I paint where time is suspended. I like to listen to the radio as I paint but it has often struck me how all the music and discussion floats over my head as I am in a world of colour and the flow of brush strokes.
In spite of painting for many years I am always intrigued by the way I handle the brushes and the effects I get as I paint. Honestly, in advance of painting a picture I could not predict exactly what I will produce at the end. While I have a clear scene in my mind at the outset I know that the painting produced at the end will have taken on a life of its own.
I love seeing the energy and flow of what is created in the new work. It makes me proud of the work I do and also intrigues me in what it reveals of the inner me. I find that at a conscious level I am unaware of some aspects of what lies within me and yet know it is part of the core me.
Almost like the subject of the male nude turning towards the light, painting shines a light on the inner me.              

Dealing with Breast Cancer

All the different bits of our bodies are naturally part of us. All our bulges and bumps, grooves and curves make us what we are. Modesty requires us to cover up but this does not mean we ignore these seldom revealed bits or that there is shame in not having a perfect body.
This raises intriguing questions - what is a perfect body and why is it important to fit to a particular image or shape? Can we accept that imperfect is ok?
Imperfect bodies by and large work very well and still produce great talents, intellects, values and decent people.  Perfection is over-rated and leads to many other difficulties and problems.

 A big issue is dealing with bodies that begin to fail us, recognising that something is wrong and that action needs to be taken.  Getting over the difficulty of recognising that something is wrong with a person's body is one of the big steps in dealing with cancer. I have heard people, whose loved ones have been diagnosed with different forms of cancer, say that one of the most important things is not to ignore all the small signs and symptoms that may be early warnings. It must be mental torture to have quiet moments where you are wondering is there something wrong. Can a person sleep at  night as they wonder if some recurrent or constant small symptom is in fact a warning sign of a more serious condition?
I've learned that breast cancer is still the biggest killer of women in Ireland and that people should go for regular checks and screenings to ensure that all is well. If there is one thing that we all learn about cancer it is that time is of the essence and the earlier it is dealt with the better.


                                  
I decided to do a painting of a woman's breast to highlight the issue of breast cancer.
In the painting (above) the breast is covered by the woman's hand to convey the sense of modesty and reluctance to really look at breasts. For any man, a woman's breasts hold great allure and sexual appeal. There is a beautifully feminine aspect to their shape and form. Cleavage can arouse great passion and lust.
In the painting the curve of the breast catches the light and there is a beautiful attractive glow from the soft pink flesh. I've also tried to convey a sense of fullness and richness of womanhood in the size of the breast. In covering the nipple with the hand I am trying to convey a sense of further richness and greater womanhood to be revealed. The breast is not to be looked at casually and seen as a common everyday part of a woman, it is to be appreciated and admired as an essentailly feminine attribute.
There is great contrast between light and shade in the painting to convey this tendency to cover up and rarely reveal the core parts of the body . The fingers on the hand are long and tapering to show a finesse of touch and the hint of red nail polish on the thumb and little finger suggest a rauchy side to this intriguing woman. The diamond ring on the wedding finger catches the light to show the true richness and fantastic qualities of wives and mothers.